Because he doesn’t exist! Aldies Ghoet-Koper is a fictional character created forever ago by Caz! radio – a radiostation (radio station) in the Netherlands. Listen to the fragment below. Why was this character created, though, and what’s so funny about this? Here are Dutch jokes with names.

Aldi is cheaper

It’s no secret that supermarkten (supermarkets) fight for our attention with ever lower prijzen (prices) and better kwaliteit (quality). So when Caz! decided to call Albert Heijn, a dominant supermarktketen (super market chain) in the Netherlands, they wanted to get them to admit a truth that we’ve all known for years: German supermarktketen Aldi is cheaper than Albert Heijn. But how could you get them to say this? They found a pretty funny way. Here’s how the call went, that you can listen to above.

Goedemiddag, Albert Heijn XL Alkmaar, u spreekt met (no idea what her name is).

Dag, met Hans Koper! Zou je mijn zoontje kunnen omroepen?

Hoe oud is uw zoontje?

Acht jaar, blond koppie.

Hoe heet uw zoontje, voor- en achternaam?

Mijn zoontje… Aldies is zijn voornaam – A-L-D-I-E-S, en zijn achternaam is – hij heeft een dubbele achternaam, van zijn moeder en vader – Ghoet – G-H-O-E-T, en een streepje, Koper.

Aldies Ghoet-Koper?

Ja!

Ik ga hem even omroepen. Momentje.

Aldies Ghoet-Koper, Aldies Ghoet-Koper, wil je je even melden bij de servicebalie?

And the English translation:

Good afternoon, Albert Heijn XL Alkmaar, you’re speaking with …

Hi, it’s Hans Koper! Could you call for my son?

How old is your son?

Eight years, he’s blond.

What’s your son’s first and last name?

My son… Aldies is his first name – A-L-D-I-E-S, and his last name is – he has a double last name, of his mother and father – Ghoet – G-H-O-E-T, and a dash, Koper.

Aldies Ghoet-Koper?

Yes!

I’ll call for him now. One moment.

Aldies Ghoet-Koper, Aldies Ghoet-Koper, could you come to the service desk?

It then takes her a little more to figure out that ze haar in de maling hebben genomen (they fooled her). At the end, the radio host says Zegt u nou dat Aldi goedkoper is? Dan ga ik daar wel heen! (Are you saying that Aldi is cheaper? Well, then I’ll go there instead!)

After all, Aldi is in speech could become Aldies.

A little mean, a little funny, just a joke with a name. Though this one is quite crazy, as neither Aldies, nor Ghoet nor Koper are common names in Dutch.

But there are other versions, of course.

Peter and Connie

There are similar jokes out there. For example, there’s the joke of Peter Selie. Peterselie means parsley, but Peter is also a very common Dutch first name.

So you get something like this:

Je krijgt de groeten van Peter!

Welke Peter?

Peter Selie! Haha!

(Peter says hi!

Which Peter?
Peter Selie! Haha!)

Here’s a more elaborate version that’s pretty good, actually.

 

But there’s another person: Connie Veren.

This is a joke I found from all the way back in 2008.

The colleague of the poster worked at Intratuin, a garden center. They asked for Connie Veren, in a similar way as Caz! asked Albert Heijn about Aldies Ghoet-Koper.

So she asked her colleagues, who couldnt’t stop laughing. Connie Veren!

After all, coniferen are conifers, and Connie is a pretty normal Dutch name.

 

Are there jokes like this with names in your language? Do you know other Dutch ones? I would love to know, so please comment below!