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Piadas de loira, in English! Posted by on Jan 31, 2014 in Avançado

Desculpem-me minhas leitoras loiras (naturais ou não), mas não resisti! Enjoy!

The Soda Machine

There was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas, and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.

She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke.

She placed it on a counter next to the machine Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button.

Out came a Mountain Dew. She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke.

As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who’d been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up “Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?”

She looked at him and indignantly asked, “Well Duh! Can’t you see I’m still winning?”

What’s Broken?

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

We Don’t Sell to Blondes

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

“I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

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About the Author: Adir

English / Spanish teacher and translator for over 20 years. I have been blogging since 2007 and I am also a professional singer in my spare time.