French Language Blog

Top 50 Funniest French Names (The Letter A!) Posted by on Feb 24, 2012 in Culture, Vocabulary


Did you know that when you are a kid in France, you learn to play a little funny game called “Monsieur et Madame” (“Mr. and Mrs.“)

This is pretty much how it goes:

– You ask someone:

Monsieur et Madame <some name> ont un fils/une fille, comment s’appelle-t-il/s’appelle-t-elle? 

Meaning: “Mr. and Mrs. <some name> have a son/a daughter, what is his/her name?”

If you don’t guess right (and you most likely won’t, if you’ve never heard the joke), then you will be told that the answer is some totally normal first name—except that when you combine that normal-sounding first name with the previous family name, the resulting full name can end up being quite hilarious!

Let’s take an example:

— “Monsieur et Madame ZEPOWER have a daughter, what is her name? 

— “Mmm, ché pas moi…” (“Mmm, I dunno…”)

— “Elle s’appelle Agathe… Agathe ZEPOWER” (Read “I got ze power”) 

Check out this compiled list (and you can also suggest more if you know some) to learn more hilarious French names coming straight out of Monsieur et Madame jokes!

SAV – “Best of” Monsieur et madame—an obvious exaggeration!

  • Adda CORE (Read “Ah, d’accord“—“Ah, ok”!)
  • Adelphe LAIZORACLEVONBONTRAIN (Read “À Delphes, les oracles vont de bon train“—“In Delphi, Oracles are going viral”)
  • Adhémar PATACAISSE (Read “Elle démarre pas ta caisse“—“It ain’t starting, your car!” See also Alphonse PATACAISSE!)
  • Agathe ZEUBLOUZE (“I got the blues!”)
  • Ahmed AIPAN (Read “À mes dépens“—“at my expanse”)
  • Aimée DAIZOME (Read “Aimée des hommes“—“beloved by men”, or “Aimer des hommes—“To love some men)
  • Aimée NAIME’S (M & M’s!)
  • Aimée NERVE (Read “Elle m’énerve“—“She’s getting on my nerves”!)
  • Aimée TENNIS-HISSONHOU (Read “Hé, mes tennis, elles sont où?!“—“Hey, my sneakers, where are they?!”)
  • Aimée VOUBRAHMS (Read “Aimez-vous Brahms?“—“Do you like Brahms?”)
  • Aimée VOULAIZUNLEZOTRE (“Love one another”)
  • Alain DAIXE (Read “À l’index“—“On the Index”)
  • Alain D’ISSOIR (Read “À lundi soir“—“See you Monday night”)
  • Alain PROVISTE (Read “À l’improviste“—“unexpectedly”)
  • Alain TERIEUR (Read “À l’intérieur“—“Inside.” Compare with Alex TERIEUR!)
  • Albert MUDA (Read “Ah, le bermuda“—“Ah, the bermuda shorts”)
  • Alex CRAIMANT (Read “À l’excrément“—“With excrement.” I know, eww.)
  • Alex KUZBIDON (Read “Ah, l’excuse bidon“—“Ah, the pathetic excuse!”)
  • Alex TERIEUR (Read “À l’extérieur“—“Outside.” Compare with Alain TERIEUR!)
  • Ali MONPOURCHIEN (Read “Aliment pour chien“—“Dog food”!)
  • Alice BONNEHIFAICHO (Read “À Lisbonne, il fait chaud“—“In Lisbon, it is hot”)
  • Alice TAIRIK (Read “Ah, l’hystérique!“—“Ah, the hysteric!”)
  • Alice TOIRBELGE (Read “À l’histoire belge“—“Belgian story-style”!)
  • Alice TOIRDROLE (Read “Ah, l’histoire drôle“—“Ah, the funny story”)
  • Alice HUDELANUIT (Read “À l’issue de la nuit“—“At the end of the night”)
  • Aline YAR (Read “Ah, l’ignare!“—“Ah, the ignoramus!”)
  • Alonzo BALMASKE (Read “Allons au bal masqué“—“Let us go to the masquerade ball”)
  • Alonzo BISTRODUCOIN (Read “Allons au bistro du coin“—“Let’s go to the local bistro”)
  • Alonzo FONDE-LAPATRIE (Read “Allons Enfants de la Patrie!“—The first verses of the French hymn, la Marseillaise!)
  • Alphonse PATACAISSE (Read “Elle fonce pas ta caisse“—“It won’t run, your car!”) (See also Adhémar PATACAISSE and Anna RAITPASSAIBON )
  • Amanda PAYER (Read “Amende à payer“—“A payable fee”)
  • Amar D’ISSOIR (Read “À mardi soir“—“See you Tuesday night”)
  • Amédée CONNEPAS(Read “Ah mais déconnes pas“—“Oh come on, don’t mess around”! See Aretha CONNERY)
  • Amélie ORATION 🙂
  • Amour HIREDERIRE(Read “À mourir de rire“—“(Something) to die out of laughter of”)
  • Anna BOLIZAN (Read “Anabolisant“—“Anabolic.” This could also work in English: Mr. and Mrs. Bolic have a daughter, what’s her name? Anna!) 
  • Anna CONDA (Anaconda—and what if she marries Mr. Lisa-Rice… She’d be “Anna Conda Lisa-Rice”)
  • Anna GRAMME 
  • Anna RAITPASSAIBON (Read “Elle arrête pas, c’est bon“—“It won’t stop, it’s good”! See Alphonse PATACAISSE and Adhémar PATACAISSE)
  • Anna TAIME (Read “Anathème“—“Anathema”)
  • Anna TOMMYDEUREVE (Read “Anatomie de rêve“—“A dream anatomy”)
  • Anna-Lise DURINE (Read “Analyse d’urine“—“Urine analysis”)
  • Anne ALFABETE!
  • Anne HOMALIE
  • Anne HORMALE
  • Anne ONIME (Read “Anonyme“—“anonymous”)  
  • Annie MALE
  • Annie VERSAIRE!
  • Aretha CONNERY (Sean Connery’s daughter 🙂 Read “Arrête ta connerie“—“Quit messing around”!)
  • Aubin DIDON (Read “Oh ben dis donc“—“What the heck?!”)
  • Aubin JEFAIDESBULLES (“Oh ben, je fais des bulles! “—“Oh wow, I’m making bubbles!”)
  • Aude AIMARAGE (“Au démarrage“—“At the starting up”)
  • Aude HEZAISPOIR (“Au désespoir“—“To the despair”)
  • Aude HIPASSA (Read “Oh, dis pas ça“—“Oh, dont’ say that”)
  • Aude VAISSELLE(Read “Eau de vaisselle“—“Dishwater”!)

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  1. ghnfjh:


    • Hichem:

      @ghnfjh Douche: French for shower!

  2. Roseturquoise:

    Too bad Anglo-Saxon people ain’t got this kind of wordplay 🙂 but perhaps that’s because there’s not a lot of english names that could make a good pun (Kate, Perry, Casey, Avery, etc….)
    By the way, have you tried to do a Mr/Mrs with an english name ? 😀 (….otherwise, I should really rewatch the Simpsons in VO xD.)